


Shaking Hands With The Dark Parts Of My Thoughts

by Remember_to_write



Category: DC Animated Universe, DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remember_to_write/pseuds/Remember_to_write
Summary: The reader is having some trouble getting a hold on their anxiety. Jason helps out





	1. Chapter 1

_ Drip drop drip drop _

_ Tick tock tick tock _

So many background noises crowded y/n’s head as she lay on her bed  .

The whir of the ceiling fan and the whoosh of the air conditioner added foreground to the symphony of white noise filling the room.

_ Has that crack always been on the ceiling or am I just now noticing it? _ The thought barely registered as it skid through the girl’s clouded mind.  

Mindlessly, she checked her phone. No messages.  _ Of course. Why would there be any? It isn’t like I actually have friends. _ With that thought, she shifted her position as if trying to escape the negativity of her mental statement.

It was becoming less comfortable by the second lounging with her head falling off the bed, but the ache in her neck distracted her from the mental static threatening her peace.  

_ Maybe if it turn on some music it will keep the thoughts away. _

“What thoughts?” Said a familiar voice from the doorway.

“Jason, I didn’t know you were home.” Y/N said, not even bothering to move so much as her head.

“Yeah, I just got back. But you didn’t answer my question: what thoughts?” Jason said, moving to crouch in front of her.

“They’re nothing, Jay, just thoughts.” Y/N said as she rolled over onto her stomach, part of her sentence getting lost as she moved on the comforter.

"Well obviously they are more than just nothing if you are trying to keep them away.” Jason said softly, gently moving her hair out of her face.

Y/N let her head rest against the bed for a minute as Jason continued to play with her hair.

“Sometimes…. Sometimes, I get these thoughts. And I know- I know, they are lies, but I let myself think them anyway. And every once in awhile, I actually let myself believe them.” Y/N said in a small voice.

“What do the thoughts say?” Jason whispered, hand moving to cradle the side of her head.

Y/N slightly lifted her head to peek at him, before burying her face in the covers.  

“That I have no friends, and that I am ugly, and a burden to everybody, and even when people are saying nice things they don’t mean it, and when people compliment me they are either lying or being patronizing, and nobody is ever going to love me or want me or miss me when I am not there, and I am dumb and have no skills and- and-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. You really think all that?” Jason said bringing his head to rest near hers.

Y/N shifted her head a little to look at him and nod.

“So you think you are ugly and dumb, and that you have no friends and everybody hates you?” Jason asked quietly. He hated to think that Y/N would think such things, let alone believe them.

“Sometimes.” came the muffled reply.

“Let me ask you this: is Dick your friend?” Jay asked patiently.

“… Yes”

“How about M’gann? Is M’gann your friend?”

“She’s my best friend.”  

“I’m going to choose to ignore that statement. How about Steph? And Cass? And Tim? And Hellspawn? And Babs? And Conner? And-“

“Okay, I get your point I have friends.” Y/N said as she rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. Jason moved to sit on the bed so that he could look her in the face as he continued.

“Friends who wouldn’t like to hear you beat yourself up. Friends who love you and would fight for you. Now let’s move on to the next point, as your boyfriend, I am very upset that I apparently do not exist.”  

“I never said you didn’t exist”

“What is it you said? Nobody loves you or wants you? Sounds to me like you called me nobody and I take offense to that.” Jason said with a fake pout on his face.

Y/N rolled her eyes and moved to get off the bed.

“Oh, hold up now. You aren’t getting away that easy.” Jason said pulling her onto his lap  

“I am also mad that you insinuated I would date someone who was ugly and dumb. I will have you know my girlfriend is the most beautiful and intelligent woman to ever grace the entire planet and I won’t let anyone, not even herself, call her dumb and/or stupid.” Jason said as he rested his forehead against hers

“You mean it?” Y/n whispered as she looked into his eyes.

“Why would I lie to you about something so important?” Jason said as he watched her eyes sparkle with unshed tears

“I know, it is just sometimes I forget and I get worried that if I tell you, you’ll get mad at me or you’ll be disappointed.” Y/N sniffled. He very gently wiped away the few tears that escaped and rolled down her face.

“Your peace of mind is more important than anything in the entire world. If I have to tell you that I love you and think you are beautiful every minute of my every waking hour until we are both old and gray, I will. If there is anything you ever need, big or small, I will get it for you. If-mff” Jason’s words were cut off when Y/N grabbed his face and kissed him.

“Thank you” She whispered against his mouth when they finally broke apart. “I am sorry that I let myself forget and become insecure, but hearing you say all that does more for me than you know.”

“Don’t let it get that bad next time? You don’t have to tell me everything, but let me know when your thoughts come back so I can help you fight them.” Jason said, as he tenderly cradled her face.  

The h/c girl nodded as she laid her head on his shoulder. The pair would have been content to stay that way for the rest of the night had Jason’s stomach not chosen that moment to let it’s presence be known.  

"Did you not eat before you came home?” Giggled Y/N at the sudden gurgling noises coming from her boyfriend’s abdomen.

“No, I was going to get something with you.” Jason said, slightly grumpy that his own body had ruined the moment.

“Well, let’s eat before the monster in your stomach consumes the entire universe.” she said grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door.


	2. The Words were Nearly Over Us

Y/N sat on her bed, staring off into space and trying to calm the shaking of her hands and the hitch in her inhale, but no amount of closed eyes and breathing exercise seemed to shake the creeping fog that lurked. 

She tried to remember what Jay had told her. 

She had friends. 

Friends who cared about her. 

She had him. 

He cared about her. 

But right now the radio silence lent its static to her heart and mind.

She shivered even though it wasn’t cold.

_ Music. Need Music. _

_ It’ll make it stop. Oh god, anything to make it stop. _

“I know that look.” Jason said softly, standing in the doorway. “You wanna talk about it?”

His kind words broke the dam holding back all the pent up pain and frustration she didn’t even know she was repressing. Before the first tear could drop onto the blanket, Jason was there wrapping his arms around her

“I can’t. I can’t. I tried, but I can’t.” Y/N sobbed.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to do it alone. I’m right here.” He crooned gently in her ear as he rocked her back and forth. 

“I don’t like to feel this way. It hurts so bad, but it comes and it takes and destroys and I cannot tell anybody because they don’t need to deal with my problems when they have their own and I just want someone to help but I cannot even ask them for it.” Y/N rambled

“You can tell me anything, doll. All you gotta do is reach out. I’ll help you the best I can.” Jason continued rocking her back and forth until her breathing grew calm again.

“I just feel really guilty for breaking like this. I’m weak and clingy and lonely and untalented and-”

“Hey, now. You aren’t weak. You just put too much pressure on yourself. As far as clingy goes, there is nothing wrong with that. You just need a little more love. You are lonely because you aren’t getting the affection you need. And you are one of the most talented people I know.” Jason comforted, playing with her hair.

“Oh, yeah? Name one thing I am good at?” Y/N sniffled miserably.

“Well, for starters, you are a saint for putting up with me.” Jason joked. “You are loving, and patient, and kind, and you smell really nice, and you are really smart, and you have a really nice voice-”

“Jay, my singing sucks.” Y/N said, twisting in his arms to look him in the eyes.

“Not to me it doesn’t.” Jason said as he cradled her face in his hands “Your eyes are really pretty. And they are looking a lot clearer now. How are you feeling?”

Y/N laid her head on his chest and thought for a moment. “I think I’m okay now. I think I just want you to hold me now.“ Y/N said in a small voice.

Jason smiled and kissed her on the top of her head. “I’ll hold you for as long as you need me to.”


End file.
